Ever had one of those days where you are surrounded by family and friends but no matter who you talk you still feel like you are alone. I had one of those days yesterday, and man did it stink. Michael is the best thing that has ever happened to me but I sometimes forget that Michael can not fix everything and he can not meet all my expectations he is human and in the end the only one that can be there for me is God. I was emailing someone last night and she told me that in times when we are alone God is the only one that will ALWAYS listen and we can always lean on HIM even though there are times when we don’t think we “need” to. I find myself not needing to lean on God when I should be doing that every day!
When I had my m/c I had a few people that I could talk to like Mike, but that did not stop how I was feeling, Why did this happen when I wanted another baby so bad? What did I do wrong? Those kind of thoughts went through my head all the time and they still do. In those 13 weeks I felt so attached to that baby that it is hard for me to understand why it was taken away. But there is a reason but I just don't know it yet. God is and was teaching me something and he is the one that gives and takes away!
So feeling alone has been something that I have been dealing with since March and I might have this struggle for a while but maybe one day God will just take it away, so that is something that I will continue to pray for.