Thursday morning when I posted my last blog I had no idea what my day would be turning into. Never in our wildest dreams did we think that Michael's dad was struggling as much as he really was but in the end it was too much for him and his life was tragically over Thursday afternoon. I will never forget June 4 2009 in my entire life. I got the phone call from Mike that his dad was in the hospital at 1:03pm while out with my friend Dani. Dani took Sydney for me and then Lisa and I went down to the hospital. (Matt, Lisa's husband and Mike's boss was already with Mike) I was told by about 1:30pm that Mike's dad did not make it and I was so calm it was weird but still I was not at the hospital. I had no idea trying to get a two year old taken care of at the last minute can sometimes make you not think about anything else.
When I got to the hospital and found my husband he was a mess and it was one of the hardest things to do. He just lost his Daddy, and nothing will bring him back. It is never easy to loose someone that close to you but I think the hardest part was that Wednesday night we went out with his dad John, and his brother Tom. And everything seemed great and we watched John play with Sydney at dinner and just have a wonderful time. Never did we think the next day would be what it was.
Lately I have been going through the emotions of being really sad, and then very upset about what he did. I look at Michael and just see how much he is hurting and it breaks my heart and I wish that his dad could see how much he is hurting. I also see Mike and then see John in Michael and I will start crying just cause. I think in my head...John could have been around for 30-40 more years God willing and could have spent that time with his son and grand-daughter, and grand-son on the way. But God knew that Thursday June 4 2009 would be his last day on Earth, and regardless of the situation God either causes or allows things to happen and I believe he allowed this to happen for a reason and that reason we may never know until we are in the presence of the Lord.
I have been trying really hard to stay calm in all of this so that our little boy is not born when Mike would not be able to handle it. But I know that if this little guy is going to come he will come. I am emotionally drained and I have Michael who tells me that I need to be strong for him and that is something really hard for me to do in my pregnant state. I am trying to comfort him but when he cries I naturally cry and that's hard for him. I can not describe to anyone how the last two days have been. Yesterday I think for me was worse than Thursday but Michael is just so emotionally drained that I don't think he can sometimes even think clearly. All he wanted to do last night was call his "daddy" and talk to him but he couldn't.
Please pray for us in this time and that God will heal us and strengthen us through the next few months. Father's Day is going to be really hard and the birth of our son is going to be especially hard on Mike, plus everything else that goes on through all of this.
By the way our son's name is going to be Seth John Asher Marinello, and we love it.