I am God's Original Masterpiece!

This video was on Facebook and man was it true for my life. I don't look at myself as Gods original Masterpiece, I guess I don't look at myself as a masterpiece at all. I hold on to so many things that God wants to take over control of them so that I am free. Free to worship HIM. He is the Gardener pruning His trees. It hurts and is not fun but in the end I will be the person God created me to be. I seem to be struggling with the same things lately but the days that are harder than others are the days that I do not wake up asking God to help me through the day.

Guilt has been the hardest for me lately. Knowing that I got the cold that got my little boy sick. But every morning I need to get out of bed, put my feet on the floor, and ask God to get me through the day with HIS strength because I do not have the strength to do it on my own. I did not get my little boy sick, CMV did it and really God is so much bigger than CMV.

My husband is the best gift that God has given me. He gave me someone that is strong with I am weak. We are a team and we need to work together as a team. These past few months (starting in June) I think we have not always worked as a team. I think guilt, grief, and pain have gotten in the way of relying on God first and then each other. I pray that God uses us for each other and that we can grow closer together especially in the next few months.

I might be a little biased but God gave me the gift of two of the most beautiful children. He gave me an adorable daughter with a big time attitude. She tests me every day with my patience and there are days that I fail misserably with her, and I need to apologize to her and it breaks my heart that I sometimes lose my cool with her. But she is an amazing, smart, gorgeous little girl whom I love with all my heart. And then there is Seth, I am still unsure about his personalily but he is a snuggle bug. I want to be able to look at my little boy and not blame myself. I want to enjoy him everyday because he is just going to get older. I dont want CMV to rule my life with him, I want God to rules our lives. Having a baby that might be sick has made me realize that these little miracles are gifts from GOD. He gave them to me to raise them up in the way of the LORD. He can take them away at anytime. I do not get to choose what is going to happen to them. There days are numbered just as mine and Mike's are. I need to cherish each day that I have with them! I have no idea what tomorrow holds, or next month, or the next few years for that matter. But I do know that this journey with Seth is not going to be an easy one. It will have the hard days and the amazing days and each day I need to wake up and ask God to be in control of my life and give everything to him!

I have my other issues. I need to give up my body image and my thoughts, and then things that I say when I should not! I need to give up the things that are holding me down. I need to give them to someone that can carry them because I was not meant to carry them. They are too much for me but they are not too much for GOD. He is waiting for me to give them up. He wants them all so that I can be free.