Hate it...

Not a good night...It has been a really really hard night and then to have my little boy have a big enough seizure that he starts bleeding from his mouth and I can not figure out where the blood is coming from. Once he calms down I wipe him and find he has bitten his cheek. I HATE CMV!!!! I wish there was a cure for this horrible virus. I hate that he has to suffer for no reason. I hate worrying that I might one day wake up and he be gone. This virus has turned my world upside down to the point where sometimes I do not even know which way is up. It is hard and it is a battle that I have to fight every day but I just have to trust in Gods promises that there is good and good will come out of this. But I am not going to lie when I say this is hard every day it is hard, some not as hard as others but it is hard.

Tonight there were a lot of things that I wish I could go back and change but this is what God has in store for me and I have to try and keep my head up and keep moving.