CMV awareness month!

June is national cmv awareness month. I have a hard time with this one and I will try to explain it the best way I can but I can not promise that it will make any sense.

CMV has changed my world upside down. I hate the virus with a passion! It has done horrible things to innocent little babies and yet there is nothing to stop it and very little people know about it.

I will never stop a pregnant person and tell them about cmv and what it can do to the baby. If they ask that is a different story but I am not going to scare them and freak them out for no reason and yet at the same time I think people need to know about it so we can STOP it with a vaccine! There is no other way to stop cmv unless there is a vaccine. It is such a fragile virus and it can be passed in so many different ways and even doctors do not understand the virus completely! I want more than anything to have a vaccine so that no one else has to go through what we go through as a family but more importantly what Seth has to go through every day! I wish that there was cmv testing on all babies that were born and failed their hearing test so that we really know how many babies this effects and so we can find a vaccine.

I have a hard time when people say this can be stopped with simple hand washing...it's not that easy. I'm not a dirty person I wash my hand very often I most likely did not get it from not washing my hands but rather kissing my own daughter, sharing her drink, kissing my husband, watching a friends kids, working at the church. And to be honest so very few women who even get cmv even transfer it in utero, that is why its so rare. As of right now there is nothing we can do to stop cmv except eliminate it with a vaccine and I'm all for finding one! I'm all for raising awareness but in a tactful way. I will share everything I know about it to whoever wants to listen but I do not want to scare you for no reason either because most likely you have already had it and if you don't you probably will not transfer it.

It's hard for me to live with the guilt and the everyday heartache that I could not keep my little boy healthy inside of me which is suppose to be the best place for him and in the end it caused more damage than being out of the womb. But God knows what He is doing and I have to keep asking Him to show me the way! He is the healer of all things and He will be glorified and who knows Seth could be here to change the world cause He truly is that special!